12:56am Well... Here I am

Dear Busted Heart,

I know you and I have never really talked as much as we really should. Usually when we sit down to have a conversation it's in a really noisy and crowded place like my stomach. The food usually upsets us and we never really get to sort out our issues. I feel like you know me better than I think I do. I have all these grand ideas of what will make me happy, you like the simpler things in life. Sitting on the porch of a house in the middle of a field, playing guitar is your idea of a perfect eternity. A pitcher of lemonade that never empties. A pretty someone in a dress covered in a floral pattern sitting not too far off. Conversation a-plenty.

But for some reason I make those things so complicated and hard to come by. I'm always taking us in other directions and we never take the time we should to just appreciate the scenery and each others company. Every time we meet a nice girl I'm so busy thinking about whether or not we'll be happy in 5/14/26/50 years that I forget to just be happy in that moment. I had so many happy moments with Taryn but because my mind was always worrying about some future that would never be I wasn't there for them. Like the father who misses his son's first steps because he's so busy at work, worrying about something he need not worry about. Regret comes at the cost of now.

I say this to you Heart, this ol' heart of mine. I will make it my Will to listen to you more. To let go of the invisible reigns of the Future and to sit comfortably in the chair of Now. I will look around more and worry less. Meet more strangers and sing out louder. Live, I promise to live.

Hope that sounds good to you, cuz it sure does to me :)

Sincerely,

Me

Dear Mr. Thinky Brain,

Look, I know you mean well but really you just need to calm down. Pull up a chair, grab a drink and enjoy the ride. Trust me, I don't know where we're going but I know how to get us there and in style. Everything is beautiful and fine, you really don't need to do a thing. Just be there. You don't even have to listen to me as much as you think, just feel me. You'll know when we're working well together cuz I'll be fluttering and beaming a bright beautiful red.

Those hasty rendezvous in the stomach? They were fine, really. That's the whole trick isn't it? It's all fine. All the "mistakes" and "regrets" they're all a part of it. Of us figuring this out. So let's move forward together. Talk less, listen more. And yes please do sing out. I've got a lot to get off my chest and I feel that wold be a good way to do it.

Sincerely and with much heart,

Not-so Busted Heart <3


ATNN