I got an email about a month ago from my ex expressing some serious anger towards some earlier posts on my blog. She was pissed because I said somethings in one while angry and in another while I was crushing on this girl. She accused me of wanting to be with someone else whilst we were together and also of not being a friend because I had some anger to get off my chest. But for some reason (hmmmmm....) she totally missed all the posts I did were I spoke of missing her, and wanting to talk, and how I was stupid, and made mistakes etc etc... But does she write to me to ask about my feelings? Oh no, nope that's no concern of hers. She just needed to make sure that I was still aching for her and as soon as she had her answer she was back to living it up with her new man and ignoring me. Apparently he treats her better. Good for her. I'm oh so happy to hear how much better her life is since I ended our relationship. And does she even remember why? I told her I didn't think we were appreciating each other the way we diserved to be appreciated. I knew she was cool, but I was in such a head space that I couldn't enjoy being around her. It wasn't personal, it's not like I broke up with her because I didn't like her. I know it sounds retarded but the path we were on was pointed in a bad direction and I didn't want us to end up where we were headed. Maybe I did the wrong thing, but I really just wanted us to take some time and figure our shit out. Too late for that I know, I know...
Anyways. But you know what, I heard about you two and how you been crushing on him since before we got together, and about y'all flirting while we dated. So please if you're gonna act all self-righteous and send me hate-mail make sure it's for a transgression I've actually committed and not one of your own.
Yes I'm bitter. Yes I'm cynical. Yes I'm mad at myself. Yes I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. Yes I keep making them. So if you or anyone else has a problem with that then I really don't think we have anything to say to each other.
Thank you and goodnight.
ATNN
ps: To anyone reading this, yes I talk about private things on my blag. So what? You're the one sitting here reading it. Know that about 90% of the stuff I write is just done straight from the heart and as such can have a bit of sting to it. I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings or offend anyone but it happens and you know what? Tough shit. If you really think I said something fucked up and need to vent to me about it hit me up. Leave a comment or email me at pawnzz at gmail you know the rest. Happy now?
pps: I shut down my blog for a minute because the angry email from the ex sorta freaked me out. I got embarassed and was like "Oh noes! People are actually reading my blog and finding out random shit about me??" But you know what, no one really cares. And I'm sure most people only read bits and pieces here and there. And if you find out that I have a crush on you, or hate you, or whatever don't act all weird. Really deep down I still love you, whoever you are. So let's just be friends aight?
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